My attractions

My attractions are simple to identify just not so easy to describe. I will try to explain what they are and my guess as to why I have them.

Note: Descriptions are for informative purposes only. I fully take responsibility for my abusive actions and regret them all.

* Boys *

Simply, I am attracted to boys ages 9 to 13 and young looking boys ages 14 to 15 (usually smaller framed and "later bloomers"). It really depends if they are prepubescent, early pubescent, or pubescent. 

- Prepubescent -

These boys are most attractive if they are within six months of early pubescence. Prior to this time the boys have to fit a "profile" (more on that later) to be as attractive as boys a little older. I find that boys younger than 9 can be somewhat attractive with the thought of "What will he look like when he is 10 or 11?"

- Early Pubescent -

I find these boys to be especially attractive. While abusing, I often used this time in a boy's life to groom him. I offered to explain and show them things about their body that others would not share with them.

*** Trigger Warning - Descriptive ***

This time when scrotal and penile growth begin is very arousing to me. As the pubic hair would grow I would look for more opportunities to be alone with a boy. I would focus on this with the boy. In fact, this is the time when abuse would usually begin.

- Pubescent -

After a boy begins to grow facial hair and fill out physically they are of little attraction to me. Unless, they still look younger and have not grown very much.

Physically the boys usually have brown hair, brown eyes, and a slight build. However, blond boys are still attractive. Many times it depends on facial features as to how attractive a boy is or not.

* Girls *

While I might notice the facial beauty of a younger girl it is the 12 to 15 year old girls that I find most attractive. With 12 and 13 year old girls they are more attractive if they have developed breasts. With girls 14 and 15 they would not have large breasts.

I know it is natural for adult males to be attracted to older teenage girls. (Mainly because one cannot tell if they are 15 or 21, for example). My attractions go deeper than that. It may have to do with  the innocence of younger girls.

Physically the girls usually are blonde or brunette with smaller breasts and mostly petite. That is not always the case but I would say it is 90% of the time.

* Adults *

I occasionally find younger adult men attractive especially it they look much younger. Otherwise, I do not find men attractive. Women, on the other hand, I am very attracted to mostly despite age. I prefer taller, petite women but that certainly is not the rule.


I am trying to understand what happened to me and how that relates to the poor decisions I made. I think my attraction to boys is to some degree related to when my abuse began and when I became sexually aware of myself and puberty beginning. In no way do I condone or justify what I did that hurt people. Simply, I believe that what happened to me influenced my decision making skills adversely.